Here we are single ladies… the week of Valentine’s Day. Woohoo… There is no way of avoiding the most “couply” day each year. It’s going to happen on Wednesday.
Ironically, when I was married, I don’t remember Valentine’s Day being all that great. One year I distinctly remember receiving the ugliest “tropical” flower arrangement imaginable. It was delivered to my office and I know the intentions were good, but yikes… And I remember that mostly my ex was traveling for work on the most romantic holiday of the year. Most every year. So I should be used to spending Valentine’s Day alone, but now that I am single, I think I am more aware of the potential loneliness that happens only because of this fabricated, Hallmark, rose and chocolate-selling, boost to the economy holiday that celebrates the societal norm of being part of a couple.
The first year I was divorced, I published my book, launched it on Valentine’s Day and spent the day emailing everyone I knew and posting in every divorce group on Facebook that I could find to push the book to #1 in the human sexuality category on Amazon (which I did). That year I also had a yummy, younger man in my life who brought me flourless chocolate cake and roses and would kiss me for hours. Turned out he had MILF fetish, but hey – Valentine’s Day was lovely. Lol.
Last year, I must have been alone because I wrote about being alone and celebrating Valentine’s Day with a bottle of champagne and a vibrator (I still recommend that approach BTW).
This year I am feeling a little indifferent. Relationships with men in my life have definitely evolved to quality over quantity. I am still not interested in getting married again and I don’t really want anyone in my life on a daily basis. I still adore my single, childless, 40-something freedom. But something has shifted in the last year. I have been able to let myself feel much more intimacy and I seem to be seeking genuine friendships with all people in my life, not just men. Connection has become important. To men, to women, to the Universe.
I am not sure what is happening on the 14th but on the 15th I am attending a “Stupid Cupid Party” which is a professional networking party and the proceeds benefit a domestic violence legal clinic. I am donating a copy of my book to one of the raffle packages and I am looking forward to meeting some really cool people, some of who may become part of my network of genuine friendships in my life.
Be kind to yourself this Wednesday and every day, my lovelies. Seek the kind of relationships that you want in your lives, not the ones society dictates. And fuck it, send yourself some roses. xo