For some reason I came home tonight and turned on The Bachelor. You know that show – the one where like 30 women are in competition to win one man’s heart. I am catching up on emails and organizing my week, so might as well have something mindless on TV. I don’t know if I have ever seriously watched or paid attention to this show, but I do know what a phenomenon it’s been for quite a few seasons now. People love this show.
Tonight is the episode where the final four girls have The Bachelor go to their hometown and meet their families. It seems so awkward and everyone is nervous and tense. They all want this dude to marry their daughter, who he has known for all of a few weeks. The whole thing is ridiculous. And marriage is the absolute goal for these young ladies. It’s the premise of the show. The Bachelor down on one knee holding a huge diamond ring and proposing “happily ever after”. I get that. I’ve been there. But I am glad I am not there any more!
As a counter-point to this show, I find myself as a 40-something single woman sitting on my black, leather couch in my modern high-rise condo with a glass of red wine, completely relaxed. The man currently in my life is texting me from vacation with his family (and by family, I mean mom, dad and sister – he’s 27). At the same time I am on WhatsApp with him, I get another WhatsApp text from another guy I met about 6 months ago. He wants to see me. I am not interested. A few minutes later, I get a message on Tinder. Some guy who is like 700 miles away. Apparently we matched when he was doing his residency in Chicago quite a few months ago. He just asked if I had Snapchat…
I love my life. It’s super fun. I love how many options I have for different men in my life. But what I love the most is that I am not experiencing any of the angst that these 20-something girls are going through on The Bachelor. They are dramatic. They are crying. I can feel their insecurity and doubt and desperation through the television. I remember that feeling. It’s terrible. And I feel bad for them.
Meanwhile, I feel amazing to be me! I think it’s amazing to be 40-something and single. I think it’s amazing to be able to make my own decisions about who I want to spend time with and when. I think it’s amazing to be an independent woman. I make my own money. I make my own decisions. And I really love that I am not looking for a husband. There is no pressure. There is no drama. There is never a shortage of interesting men available to me. I live my life one day at a time and enjoy every minute of it.
If I could give advice to any of these young women, I’d tell them that it will get better. I’d tell them to relax and enjoy the moment, but that is nearly impossible at their age. I’d tell them that when they also get older and are 40-something they will wake up and realize how amazing their lives can be. Hang in there ladies!