I remember when I was younger, growing up in small-town Iowa, that everyone kind of worried about and in a way, pitied, older single women. How tragic that they never found “the one”?! How tragic that their husband cheated on them and now they are stuck being alone and divorced. How on earth can they even get out of bed every day? It must be so sad and depressing for them to be single. What must they do with their free time? How sad for them to be alone on the holidays? Being married is the ultimate validation of humanity according to many of these folks.
As I find myself single in my 40’s, I think life is really full and amazing. I enjoy and thrive on a tremendous amount of freedom in my life. I think in your 40’s you can follow your own desires. And life advisor and relationship expert Suzannah Galland agrees, “…what I’ve found with my clients is that being single “later in life” can be really glamorous in some ways: For many, there’s a freedom that hits at some point in your forties. Whereas more women in their twenties and thirties are looking for a partner to have children with, this becomes less the case as we get older. What many of my clients are looking for in their forties and beyond is love and/or simply fun, often less-freighted by needs surrounding building a family, financial stability, etc. Another benefit of dating at forty is that you have the confidence that comes with experience. I see a difference in how women in their forties walk into a room, the way they can make heads turn and pulses race. It’s a radiance, a power from within. Call it a sexual glow, or just plain sex appeal. Whatever it is, it’s alluring.” YES!
Glamorous is a great way to describe how I feel at this time in my life. I make my own money and I decide how to spend or save it. I own my own condo. My home is my sanctuary and I decide who is invited to share it with me and when. I live a cultured life. Season tickets to modern dance, the symphony and many Saturday mornings at the Art Institute. My life is social. I have lots of fun girlfriends and we meet for drinks, dinners. Some are single. Some are married. All are fun. And you all know that I love dating in my 40’s! I choose men who make me feel beautiful. And sexy. And yes, glamorous.
I know a lot of folks in that small town do pity me. If they only knew! Cheers to the single, glamorous life!!