How to Survive New Year’s Eve Post Divorce – A Retrospective

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Happy New Year lovely ladies!!  As a single woman of a certain age, holidays – like New Year’s Eve – can be full of pressure, expense and excess. Holidays can also be really tough after a divorce and while I don’t talk much about it, last night reminded how far my life has evolved in the last 4 years.

Yesterday, I woke up with a terrible sore throat, looked at the weather (wind chill advisory of -15F) and decided my best bet was to forfeit the ticket I purchased to go out to a concert with a group of friends and stay home – cuddled up on the couch with my cat, Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper on CNN and a glass of Champagne at Midnight. As I realized I thoroughly enjoyed my evening, it gave me a little pause to think about the past few NYE’s. Here’s a little retrospective for your amusement:

Four years ago, my ex-husband moved out around Thanksgiving and I knew I needed plans for New Year’s Eve. I opted for something low-key – dinner with a girlfriend, champagne toast at midnight and home to bed. I remember getting home, reading the NY Times, popping open another bottle of bubbly and realizing I was lonely… what do you think I did?! Booted up Tinder, of course. And this was back in the day when the app allowed you to see how far away people were and if they were online. Ordering in some company was as easy as ordering in pizza. Order I did, in my impaired state… an Uber driver (I am sure he did something else impressive?), who was literally in my home in 20 minutes. We smoked some pot. Had drunk, sloppy sex. And passed out together. Not exactly my finest moment. Happy New Year 2015.

That first year of going through divorce, I realized I needed solid plans for each and every holiday so the following year, I flew to Florida to stay with a friend for the holidays. NYE was spent with a bunch of old, retired folks on the beach. A very good, safe, no chance-of-hooking-up-with-random-Uber-drivers plan. Happy 2016. Year after, I was about being low key again – dinner with friends, home early. No late night Tindering but did spend New Years Day in bed with a lovely man who I had known for some time. Happy 2017 to me!

This morning I woke up in my own bed, alone, happy, not hung-over. I grabbed my phone only to be greeted with text messages from several lovely people – friends, lovers, past, present – all whom had reached out to wish me the best in 2018. To be honest, it’s been a rough few years. Finding myself single and 40-something is not what I ever imagined in my life. But I have to say I am so, so happy and free and enjoying every minute. If you are in the midst of a transition or a difficult time, hang in there. If you have always been single, embrace your freedom. As I write this, I am sipping some champagne and enjoying the morning. Life is good ladies, life is good. Cheers to 2018!

xo

1 Comment
  • Carissa
    January 1, 2018

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! Brought a big smile to my face & made me chuckle. I am divorced (4 years now) and 40 as well. There aren’t many woman close to me in my situation and it can be lonely sometimes. You start to feel like an outsider and others can’t really empathize because they just don’t understand what it’s like. It is so refreshing to read about other women going through the same thing. It helps me not to feel so alone. Or weird! Lol
    Thank you so much for your sharing and your honesty is a breath of fresh air!
    Much love!

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