In this technology-enabled world of dating apps, our focus tends to be on the physical when seeking a potential match. It’s all about swiping left or right based on the perceived attractiveness of the vast options popping up on our smart phone screens. And for sure my physical “type” needs to be there. For me, it’s usually dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair – someone that looks like he is from another country or another culture. For some reason I am in that mode – Indian, Pakistani, Greek, Arab, Italian – all very different from my Nordic, marshmallow white skin and turquoise blue eyes. I seek my physical opposite at this point in my life.
What is even better than connecting with my physical type is connecting with a man who is going to be intellectually stimulating for me as well. After I identify my physical type, I start scanning their profiles. What do they have to say about themselves? Any mention of “consultant”, “engineer”,“MIT”, “Stanford” or the best… “PhD”, is foreplay for me. I never realized what a sapiosexual I am. Smart men are hot. Super hot.
According to Diana Rabb, a PhD in transpersonal psychology:
The brain is the largest sex organ. Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person.
As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political or psychological discussions because this turns [him or her] on.
One of my favorite lovers had just finished his MBA at Harvard. He took off a few years between his undergrad and grad degrees to work for the Clinton Foundation in Myanmar and it’s been so much fun to talk politics and world affairs with him. We’d be in bed for a while and solve the world’s problems before round 2. So. Much. Fun.
Then there is another man in my life who is physically gorgeous, but what attracted me the most to him was all of his answers to complex/intellectual questions on Quora, which I discovered when Googling him… What is stopping mankind from creating a craft or station in space capable off housing hundreds of humans? What happens if we find a way to time travel? Does Switzerland have a history, heroes and villians, or does neutrality suppress its history? He had complex and thought-provoking answers to those and many, many more. I was as hot for his mind as much as I was for his physical yumminess. Plus he has a job in the non-profit world that can actually make a difference in the world. Extra hot.
And then there is the correlation between intelligence and sex drive… Research conducted by the sex toy company Lovehoney found a direct connection between high IQ and libido. Apparently students at elite universities (top three being Cambridge, Oxford and Manchester) are among the biggest consumers of sex toys. According to an article about this subject in the Telegraph, “High-achievers aim for excellence in all areas of their life, so it makes sense that achieving sexual happiness is one of their goals.” High IQ = super horny. I can verify this from my experience.
Finally, nerds are passionate. Extremely passionate. Passionate about women. Passionate about learning. Passionate about sex. Passionate about the world. Passionate about life. There is no bigger turn on for me.
Life is complicated, dating doesn’t have to be. Sign-up for tips, tactics and insights on how to navigate this new online world of dating like a boss! http://bit.ly/2cT9VGM