Millennial Men, Protecting My Heart and Modern Love

I am a forty-five year old woman who has officially been divorced one year this month. I am immersed in the mode of experiencing absolute ultimate freedom in nearly every aspect of my life. It’s not only experiencing freedom, it’s fully embracing it. It’s thriving on freedom. I thrive on freedom! I do what I want to do when I want to do it. And I do who I want to do when I want a man in my bed. I make the choices. I call the shots. It’s amazing. Empowering. Fantastic. On so, SO many levels.

My choice in men skews younger. Sometimes much younger… Millennial men are my current choice and have been since my ex-husband walked out the front door. I like younger men because they are not complicated. There are no ex-wives. No children. Just young energy, stamina and exuberance. Young and beautiful is my choice for as long for as I can get away with it!

Much has been said about the Millennial Generation, and usually not flattering. They have been referred to as “generation me” – entitled and narcissistic. They grew up coddled by their parents. This generation received trophies because they participated, not because they won. They all think they are special. 

But it gets more interesting. Turns out Millennials are also the generation of avoidance. They can easily separate the physical from the emotional. They prefer texting over calling. They prefer dating apps over meeting in person. “Being casual is cooler than intimacy and vulnerability. “, this all according to A Millennial’s Guide to Kissing via Modern Love (NY Times). This story chronicles a young woman and a young man who share an intimate connection on a 12 hour plane ride, never to see each other again. When they leave each other, he says, “See you never.” And he meant it.

According to the same Modern Love article, “Mass media has a fascination with hookup culture among people [Millennials] meriting in-depth investigations and contentious opining about what it all means. But they often miss a simple fact: There’s nothing particularly new about trying to avoid getting hurt.” This last statement hits me like a ton of bricks. I quickly realize that I do date much younger men for that very reason. After a painful marriage and a nasty divorce, I do want to avoid getting hurt. I fully admit that dating Millennial men makes this easy for me. Sometimes I think about swiping right on a man my own age and I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I am not ready or willing to be in a relationship that could yield something real or meaningful. That is a fact.

It was natural for me to seek younger men. Log on to Tinder. Swipe right. Match. Start chatting. Meet up. Boom. If the chemistry is there, you have a new lover. It’s really that easy. I’ve had very good luck meeting some really nice younger men. But seems that I am really just protecting myself and my heart and you know what? That is okay. More than okay. My 28-year-old lover is able to separate the physical from the emotional without a doubt. We are friends. We have fantastic sex. That’s all. If he said “see you never”, I’d be just fine. My reign of freedom continues.

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