I am a dating coach, in that I teach women how to use technology to meet nice men. But as you know, I speak to and coach women in their 40’s and 50’s who are not necessarily looking to lock down their next husband. In fact, I encourage them not to and to enjoy respectful and reciprocal relationships with men in their lives. Yes, I mean embracing sexuality. Yes, I mean taking lovers or FWB-type of situations. I am all about this for “women of a certain age”. For sure. 100%.
SO I had to define myself on Instagram and else-where and I choose to define myself as a dating coach, as unconventional as that was in my eyes.
Along my journey, I discovered other dating coaches and they all talk about finding your soul-mate, and love and a HUSBAND. And commitment. And all of that I give women permission to break free from, but now one coach actually does have some sound pieces of advice…
Enter Matthew Hussey, that dapper, British guy who has so many videos and blogs and dating techniques designed to make women subscribe to and utilize all of his tips to control the men in their lives. He’s been on Oprah, and Dr. Phil and countless other high-profile shows. He’s a contributor to Cosmopolitan and women LOVE to read and digest his content to maneuver through their relationships. I think Matthew’s techniques are a bit manipulative. All about “how to get the man”. That philosophy is the opposite of mine.
This week I found myself in a bit of a pickle. I met online (for the 2nd time – long story) a lovely man. We connected 2.5 years ago and for a variety of circumstances, we never met in person. We were recently reconnected and have been texting, talking on the phone and Skyping for the last three weeks and this week we are planning to meet (he lives out of town, but a somewhat easy drive away). He seems like a good guy and I think we are very much going to enjoy each other’s company.
Simultaneously, I heard from another man that I met also about 1.5 years ago. He’s Brazilian (and I was totally curious about a Brazilian lover…) but his job moved him to Hong Kong before we ever had a chance to meet. He’s in town this week and we were also supposed to meet up.
After a chat with the man from 2.5 years, I decided there is no point to meet the Brazilian man… Oops. I made plans that I wanted to break. I felt bad. What to do? Ghost? No, that is so not cool. Then I remembered Matthew Hussey, and some sound bits of advice that I did manage to cut and paste into my Evernote… if you ever want to cut something off, say the following via text: “Hey (correct name). You’re amazing and it’s been so great getting to know you, but my ex is back in my life and we’re going to try to make it work. I hope we cross paths down the line!”
Guess what? It works! Thank you Matthew Hussey. I try I not to put myself in this type of situation, but when you need to get out of something, that text is GOLD. Remember ladies, you are in charge. Do what you need to do!