So, I was recently part of an online summit called, “Attract the Extraordinary LOVE of Your Life! Learn How to Attract High-Quality Men Who Want to Commit to You, Date Smartly and Create Extraordinary Last Love with The ONE!” THE ONE, ladies. You may be wondering how I could possibly be part of a group of dating and relationship experts talking about finding the ONE when my philosophy is more about finding one for each season!
Well, I guess I fit into the “date smartly” part of the title. I believe in exploring, embracing and enjoying your sexuality and I help women do this safely via dating apps. I believe in meeting nice men and having casual, respectful, gratifying relationships with them. I teach women how to not get attached to men. I believe that being single is a fantastic way to live life and I embrace it fully! Being single is the ultimate freedom as far as I am concerned.
I did happen to watch the interviews with a few other experts in this series and most of them I just don’t get. How to get the guy. How to manifest what you want in your life. How to attract THE ONE. It’s all a bit much for me but also because my clients are women in their 40’s and 50’s who have usually been through a long-term marriage/relationship or are just of a certain age and honestly want to live life known their own terms. “The one” is often not the goal.
But, one of the interviews resonated with me. A lot. She is a psychologist named Dr. Diana Kirschner. She’s like a real deal therapist and I thoroughly enjoyed her session. Her advice was sound. And reasonable. And it did give me pause on one big aspect of this whole relationship thing… we do need to deeply love ourselves. Even to date casually, you need to deeply love yourself and know that you are allowing men into your life who deserve to be there.
When I give advice to women, I am making a major assumption that they are very clear about who they are and what they want and deserve in their lives. I tend to think that I merely give women permission to enjoy their sexuality, but some of you may be missing an important step.
If you need a little help in the “love thyself” area, my recommendation is to find a really good therapist. I checked myself straight into therapy for a year, every week for an entire year, when my marriage was breaking up and it was an absolutely invaluable experience. Love yourself first. Then let’s talk!