I have a confession. I had not been in to see my doctor for an annual physical examination for over two years. I have a few excuses. I got divorced, spent a year working on my emotional health, wrote a book, launched a new career, moved twice, fell in love, fell out of love, traveled, had some fabulous lovers and have been able to feel the fullness of life in technicolor. It’s been an amazing time in so many ways but I did put my physical health on the back burner a little. I haven’t been eating the best and for sure I have been drinking too much. Nothing addictive, but certainly excessive. Celebrating my freedom and my new life has been fun for sure!
Getting a physical and dealing with any health issues is the last step to having my life back on track. So on Friday I went in for an appointment. My primary care physician is nurse practitioner who is more knowledgable than most doctors. She bridges the gap between eastern and western medicine. She looks at the big picture and is not quick to solve an issue with medicine. She also gives it to you straight when something is not right. In my case, I gained 20 pounds over the two years and she was not happy about this…
I had noticed that my jeans were a little tight, but I was truly shocked at the number on the scale. This is the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I gave myself a break from the scale during these couple years of transformation and healing and found myself to be much happier as a result. I have so been enjoying the freedom of not weighing myself – a little too much it seems!
In the past, I would have been completely panicked and would have immediately put myself on some sort of strict, crazy diet. I would have worked out three hours a day – desperate to make that number smaller in the shortest amount of time. I would have isolated myself from friends and parties and fun until the number decreased.
This time I kept plans with girlfriends to go out for a 3 course dinner and while I was conscious of my consumption, I enjoyed every bite (and the gelato was to die for!) This time, while I am shocked with the number on the scale, I am also feeling the sexiest and hottest that I have in my entire life. My curves are a little curvier than usual. I am most certainly voluptuous. But my sex life is on point. And I have never been more comfortable naked.
At this point in my life I do want to be healthy and continue to stay healthy as I age. I understand that my physician only has my best interest in mind. I understand that my joints will thank me and my body will serve me much better if I drop the weight. But instead of feeling panicked, I am feeling empowered. I have faced reality. I will make some changes. I will get back to weight training. I will clean up my diet. I will cut back on my alcohol consumption. But I will continue to do all of this, while still enjoying my life! Fully. Onward!