I may or may not have been checking out a couple new dating apps during the last hour of my workday today… It’s Friday. Half the office was already gone and I was bored. I was doing a bit of research for my new book and was looking for a comprehensive list of dating apps to include in the Appendix. My Googling led me to list upon list of dating apps, most of which I have never heard of or explored. In my year of new singledom, Tinder has been my app of choice. It offers a vast selection of men, most for whom I swipe left because I have no interest, but it has also provided me with quite a few lovely matches. The volume is there. You just have to sort through. I usually Tinder up suitable men.
Tinder is kind of a hot topic. I inhaled the fairly recent Vanity Fair article that accused Tinder of being the end of dating. And for younger women in their 20’s and early 30’s who want to find a husband and get married, yes Tinder is evil. But if you are in your late 30’s, 40’s, possibly 50’s, and you know who you are and what you want – Tinder can be brilliant. I think it puts power in women’s hands. We can pick exactly what we want and we can have it. But I am not talking about a husband. I am talking about fun.
Because I feel in power and powerful with my interactions on Tinder, it had never occurred to me to check out Bumble, which is like Tinder but is touted as the feminist version. It was developed by Whitney Wolfe and a group of former Tinder employees and works very much like Tinder, but after a match has been confirmed the woman has to be the one to reach out first. Within 24 hours or the guy disappears completely. For me, the “unmatch” function on Tinder provides the same result, so I really didn’t get the whole Bumble idea.
But today, I downloaded Bumble and started looking and swiping and I don’t know what the deal is but there are the hottest, most professional group of men on this app. I am talking attorneys and consultants and investment bankers and CEOs of startups. All super hot and super professional. It was as if Whitney Wolfe and her team are curating only the absolutely most desirable and suitable men in Chicago for my choosing. I could have swiped right on far more men than I did. The selection was extraordinary.
So, I am trying to sort out what is going on here. Are all the hot, educated men feminists? Do they know all the smart, educated women are more likely to use this app? I don’t have the answer, but it was a refreshing exercise. I was a huge fan of dating apps before and I’m a bigger fan now. It’s been 2 hours since my swiping efforts and I have 6 matches, of the highest quality. Thanks Whitney.