So, there is a woman, who I somehow followed on Twitter. And I am going to have to unfollow her as soon as I finish writing this post.. she is single and dating and apparently in the process of exploring dating apps. And she constantly posts really negative things about the experiences she is having on dates and with men. I am annoyed as a woman reading all of this crap in my feed. I cannot imagine being a man on an actual date with her!
The tweet that she has pinned to the top of her feed is a link to her post “100 Dating Deal Breakers”. 100. Some of the highlights included in this list are: not attractive to me (why are you on a date in the first place?), thick accent (really? I LOVE accents), secretly hates all women (what?), no vehicle, takes the bus (public transit rocks!) this one is the best – too negative! How on earth can such a negative person have a deal breaker about being too negative. Ridiculous. Seriously.
One of my very favorite things about dating as a 40-something, single woman is that I don’t really have deal breakers or any kind of checklist. I am no longer looking for “the one” or any kind of fairy-tale ending. I enjoy my life and I enjoy meeting new people. I choose men who I am attracted to and who engage in interesting chats/calls. Beyond that, I keep an open mind, appreciate their positive qualities and appreciate what is in front of me. I like to meet men who can expose me to another culture or another religion or a different perspective on life. No one is perfect but we all have good qualities and you can always learn something by meeting a new person. For me, dating is a really positive experience.
Of course there are qualities and habits that are deal breakers, but you are smart and not going to choose to go out with someone with those breakers in any case. As a 40/50-something woman, you have lived enough life to weed out anyone who you are not going to enjoy meeting. And if you don’t enjoy the company of someone you met, you will simply move on. The brilliant thing about being our age is that we have enough maturity to appreciate, learn from and enjoy a wide variety of people. We also know that being negative is no way to live a full and rewarding life.
Back to our Tweeter. She might be doing this to get traffic to her blog or gain attention, but her negative attitude is seriously annoying. And dating appears to be such a painful and difficult process for her, when it really doesn’t need to me. Best of luck to her. I am unfollowing. Deal breaker!